Democracy happens in difficult conversations, when we open our hearts and minds to the possibility that the person who disagrees with us is not motivated by malice and we explore the tensions between our beliefs, that our society progresses.
“We, the people, need to stop talking about them and start talking with each other. We need to start talking with each other in a concerted effort to restore that sense of “us” on which democracy depends.” – Parker J. Palmer
I am sure that I am not alone in saying that I am unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the level of despair, pessimism, hurt, and anger I have experienced lately. Hateful rhetoric has been normalized by our media and each new shocking turn of events seems to deepen wounds that, sometimes, seem fatal. So, what are we to do as citizens of a country where we seem to have more problems than ever relating to one another in any way?
It is easy to discount our system of American democracy when we consider the dialogue happening in our presidential campaign, but I don’t think that’s where the true heart of our democracy lies. For me, it resides in the notion that every human life contains value and hope, and that, at our innermost essence, we all long for a society that is just, equal, and peaceful. I think the ideal exercise of democracy does not happen between two presidential campaigns or in the media. At its truest, I believe democracy happens when we engage in open, respectful, but challenging conversations with our friends, families, neighbors, and elected officials.
It’s in these conversations, when we open our hearts and minds to the possibility that the person who disagrees with us is not motivated by malice and we explore the tensions between our beliefs, that our society progresses. These conversations are often difficult and emotional, but they are essential as we attempt to mend our broken society and begin to address systemic inequities within our political and economic systems. Closing our eyes to those who disagree with us and pretending they do not exist is only going to result in stagnation, pain, and polarization.
I take solace and inspiration in the words of Parker J. Palmer. At Annual Meeting in 2014, he told us, “Civil discourse, rightly understood, requires the confidence that if we can hold our differences creatively, our hearts and minds will be open to new ways of seeing and solving problems together.” The idea of holding differences creatively, not minimizing them or pretending they do not exist, is essential as we work to create the world we seek.
I appreciated our conversation with Parker J. Palmer and many of you on Wednesday, September 28. Palmer’s words inspire me to continue working towards the world I still believe is possible. I’m also looking forward to thinking about my own exercise of democracy both before and after this election. I know that those I may disagree with politically are also feeling pain in their hearts and that this moment is the perfect time to come together in openness and love to work together to mend our world.